Friday, August 15, 2008

Thoughts on how to help the wife

I was inspired to write this post because I sometimes struggle with what to do in situations where it is clear that your help is needed, but you are not sure exactly what to do to help. Of course, asking, "What can I do to help?" might be one obvious strategy to figure out what you can do, such questions may often result in replies such as "Isn't it obvious?" or "It's already too late!" in times of stress or crisis.
So, I have pondered what we husbands and fathers can do to help out our wives in times of need. I have come up with a few of the following ideas or thoughts:
1) Change the diaper - see my post on projectile poo-poo before attempting this task. Changing the diaper is something my wife really appreciates me doing, for obvious reasons.
2) Bring her a drink - women tend to get thirsty while breastfeeding (need to compensate for the loss of fluids I guess), so while she is breastfeeding, bring her a drink. She will love you for it.
3) Be there to lend a hand - when you are trying to change a diaper, clean up projectile poo-poo and calm the baby simultaneously at 4am, two hands are just not enough. So be there to lend an extra hand or two to help out.
4) Bring her what she needs - sometimes a cloth or blanket is needed that was accidently left on the other side of the room or in another room, or a wet cloth is needed to wipe something up. Be ready to go get these things and haul them over.
5) Take the baby out for a walk - if the baby has been fed and diaper changed, you can easily take the baby out by yourself for a walk. If you are like me, you put the baby in a sling, go for a walk outside, and with the steady movement and fresh air, your baby is asleep in no time. You get some time to have a walk while your baby sleeps (and maybe go for a coffee or something) and your wife has a break during which she can do whatever she wants, without having to worry about the baby waking up (she will probably sleep).
6) Clean up around the house - if time permits, you can be a big help by cleaning up around the house a bit. Or just hire some cleaning staff.
If any of you out there have additional ideas (both moms and dads who are reading this), feel free to leave them here as comments! To the moms - what is the one thing that your husband can or could do to help? To the dads - what do you do to help out your wife?
Till next time, happy diaper changing,
TBD

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