The Blogg Daddy is moving!!

Hey all,
In trying to keep up with the Jones', I have completely renovated this blog and have made it more user friendly, easier to navigate, and more appealing to the eyes.
As part of this move, I also took the opportunity to change the name and theme of the blog slightly.
See it all for yourself at The Dad Jam (http://thedadjam.com)
Please update your links if you link to me or have my link saved somewhere.
Hope you enjoy the new site!
Cheers,
Your Head Jammer at The Dad Jam

An innovative and bizarre idea for a baby bottle

I came across this image on the web yesterday and just had to write about it. Is it not the most bizarre looking baby bottle (or bottle in general) that you have ever seen?
This is an idea from "Design Continuum" - they are working on developing a customized nipple bottle, that will look similar to what you see in the picture.
And get this - the nipple will be custom made based on a 3-D scan of the mother's breast!
It is also oriented upside down to better simulate the breast feeding position.
It hasn't been released yet, but the idea is still being researched.
We never bottle-fed our first child and so far haven't tried bottle-feeding our second, and we don't plan to. We have been lucky enough that breastfeeding has gone very well, so haven't had a need to bottle-feed.
With our first child, we did try a bottle on one occassion (with pumped milk) when he was about 8 or 9 months old, to see if he would take it, but he didn't. Perhaps if we had this he would have?
This image and idea raise many questions in my mind. Would I feel like I am "fooling" my baby if I used this? Would I be comfortable walking around in public flashing an exact replica of my wife's nipple around? Would I be tempted to "experiment" with it myself, to see how close to the real thing it is (jokes)?
In any case, it definitely is an innovative idea, no matter how bizarre it looks. Perhaps parents who really want to give their baby the feeling of being breastfed, but are unable to breastfeed for whatever reason, will find this a wonderful alternative.
Appreciate your thoughts! Cheers.

Who is parenting who?

Hi all,
I find it quite scary sometimes that my two year old son sometimes sounds like I do when he talks to me. If I do something that he doesn't like or want me to do at that particular moment (such as talk to my wife, or eat), he will firmly tell me not to do it. He does this using the same language and tone of voice that I use when I tell him not to do something that I don't want him to do (such as hit the cat, or throw food on the floor). And why wouldn't he? This is the way he has learned from my example to handle such situations. What to do, besides taking a vacation?
I accept that fact that my son sometimes talks to me the same way I talk to him, because, like I said, he has learned this from me, and being only two, he doesn't know any other way, besides the ways that I teach him.
But listening to him in these situations causes me to pause and reflect on my own handling of situations where I would like him to stop doing something. I often try now to approach such situations with a different tone of voice, and different use of words.
Rather than saying, "Don't do..." I try and say what he should do. For example: "Don't put the cat in the oven" = old me... and, "Try petting the cat nicely while it is lying on the floor" = new me.
I have read in several books that this is the better approach anyways. Children (and adults too) ignore the negating pieces of sentences (i.e. we ignore the "don't"). For example, if I say to you, "Don't think of a pink elephant," the first thing you do is think of a pink elephant. So when we say to our kids, "Don't draw on the walls," you can be sure your walls will very quickly be many shades of red, blue and purple.
The other big question I ask myself is how often I should let my boy get his way. If he asks me not to do something that he doesn't want me to do, and I don't listen to him, why should he listen to me next time I ask him to "Pet the cat only"? He is still too young to understand that he always has to listen to me "because I am the father and I know better" and I don't necessarily have to listen to him.
So, I try and negotiate where I can. Of course, on big ticket items, there is no negotiation. But on small things, I am open to negotiate and sometimes give in to his requests. I think this helps in the long run, because if he feels that I take him and his requests seriously, he is more likely to do the same with me and my requests.
Definitely something to think about, and I am still honing my skills in this area, so if you have any comments on what has and has not worked for you in this space, please leave a comment!

Thoughts on how to help the wife

I was inspired to write this post because I sometimes struggle with what to do in situations where it is clear that your help is needed, but you are not sure exactly what to do to help. Of course, asking, "What can I do to help?" might be one obvious strategy to figure out what you can do, such questions may often result in replies such as "Isn't it obvious?" or "It's already too late!" in times of stress or crisis.
So, I have pondered what we husbands and fathers can do to help out our wives in times of need. I have come up with a few of the following ideas or thoughts:
1) Change the diaper - see my post on projectile poo-poo before attempting this task. Changing the diaper is something my wife really appreciates me doing, for obvious reasons.
2) Bring her a drink - women tend to get thirsty while breastfeeding (need to compensate for the loss of fluids I guess), so while she is breastfeeding, bring her a drink. She will love you for it.
3) Be there to lend a hand - when you are trying to change a diaper, clean up projectile poo-poo and calm the baby simultaneously at 4am, two hands are just not enough. So be there to lend an extra hand or two to help out.
4) Bring her what she needs - sometimes a cloth or blanket is needed that was accidently left on the other side of the room or in another room, or a wet cloth is needed to wipe something up. Be ready to go get these things and haul them over.
5) Take the baby out for a walk - if the baby has been fed and diaper changed, you can easily take the baby out by yourself for a walk. If you are like me, you put the baby in a sling, go for a walk outside, and with the steady movement and fresh air, your baby is asleep in no time. You get some time to have a walk while your baby sleeps (and maybe go for a coffee or something) and your wife has a break during which she can do whatever she wants, without having to worry about the baby waking up (she will probably sleep).
6) Clean up around the house - if time permits, you can be a big help by cleaning up around the house a bit. Or just hire some cleaning staff.
If any of you out there have additional ideas (both moms and dads who are reading this), feel free to leave them here as comments! To the moms - what is the one thing that your husband can or could do to help? To the dads - what do you do to help out your wife?
Till next time, happy diaper changing,
TBD

Money doesn't grow on trees

Well, we've probably all heard our parents tell us that "Money doesn't grow on trees" and we will probably tell our kids the same thing a several dozen times (or more) during their child and teenager-hood.
Although money unfortunately doesn't grow on trees, it does grow in the bank. And while many new fathers out there are probably spending most of their time trying to get their head around fatherhood, changing diapers, calming fussiness, when they will get to sleep next, and the such, it is also a good time to start thinking about starting up a savings (such as an educations savings, or RESP) plan for that new little wee one.
The reason I say this is because the sooner you start one, the more time it will have to grow. This will result in more money when you will need it most... at college/university time!
With our son, we started pretty late, but with our daughter, we are going to start very soon.
There are lots of good plans out there, so go talk to your bank or look around on the internet to see what plans different banks have to offer.
I know in Canada at least, contributions to a registered educations savings plan (RESP) are tax-sheltered and a percentage of your contributions are matched by the government, depending on your income (e.g. for every dollar you contribute, the government contributes 20 cents). Those are two additional incentives to start one up. This is an opportunity to pay fewer taxes and get free money from the government, so I say go for it!
So just wanted to post this little reminder to all you new dads out there to say, when your mind is not in too much of a blur from everything else that has been going on following your new little arrival, start thinking about a savings plan... your children will thank you for it when they are older and you will thank yourself too I am sure.
Until next time, hope you are getting some rest,
TBD

I've been added to Alltop!

Hey all... a quick, exciting piece of news... I am now among the best of the best and the creme de la creme at Alltop. You'll find a link to my blog/blogg at http://dads.alltop.com ... now I am in the great company of other well known blogging dads. Now I have the feeling that I really need to step it up a notch... will do my best!

Cheers,

TBD

Good books for fathers and parents

Hi all,
Just had a thought today that I might need to go back to my fatherhood and parenting reading material... my son has really been exerting his independence lately, so gotta remind myself what to do in these situations! Today, for the first time, he was really keen on telling me and my wife to do: "Don't change the bed sheets!" to me, and when my wife tried to feed our newborn, "Don't feed her!" This of course, combined with lots of whining, kicking and screaming. Joy oh joy. Well, I think he was really tired and the feelings of slight jealousy towards his baby sister were starting to creep in. He is good most of the time though, and in the end we managed to get him to conclude that his baby sister can't drink orange juice and can't eat cookies, so she has to drink milk. It is always great to add a bit of sound logic to the situation to help smooth things over.
Nevertheless, it may be time to hit the books again. Here are two books that I found to be excellent and worth reading:
1) The Complete Secrets of Happy Children, by Steve Biddulph. This is actually two books in one... The Secrets of Happy Children, and its follow-up, the appropriately titled, More Secrets of Happy Children. This book gives lots of practical tips on parenthood, being a dad, the correct language to use when talking to your children, disciplining, soft love, firm love and special considerations for raising boys and raising girls. There are many good tips and ideas in its pages. We have used and applied many of his ideas with our kids, and he really gives you a lot to think about.
2) The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families, by Stephen Covey. Need I say more than Stephen Covey. I mean, Stephen Covey, loving father of nine children plus highly successful entrepreneur. That says it all. If you haven't heard of the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, please get out of the hole you are under and google it right now and then buy it. Then get this follow-up, where he applies the Seven Habits specifically to family life and parenting. Especially since he is a father, who also managed a career, there are many great pieces of advice for fathers here on how to cope and be a terrific father that your kids will love. He has so many great ideas and thoughts. There are lots and lots of great stories in this book from his own experience (he had enough of them, with nine kids and all). This includes the classic "green and clean" story, which is worth the price of the book alone in my opinion.
So I think I may re-read these books, cuz the time seems right to do so. If any of you out there have ideas for good books for me to read, please leave a comment and let me know. And if you have read the above books and have an opinion about them, feel free to leave it here!
Happy reading,
TBD